Mercury in Retrograde

Mercury is in retrograde, and so is my patience.  

What is a planetary Retrograde? 

Picture the planets orbiting the Sun like an old-fashioned mechanical racetrack. Each planet has its own track, a different distance from the Sun, traveling at different speeds. A retrograde happens when Earth passes a planet, making that planet appear to slow down, stop and then go in reverse. This optical illusion is similar to passing a car that’s going slower than you — as you pass it, it seems to go backwards, but it’s still plugging along at the same speed and in the same direction. During a ‘reversal,’ the areas of life that the retrograde planet rules will feel askew until it catches up to Earth again. Each planet exerts influence over certain aspects of life. Mercury rules communication, for example, so when it’s in a favorable sign, your communication abilities are stronger and more effective. When a planet goes retrograde, the effects of its influence are reversed. During a Venus retrograde, don’t expect love to come easily. Interestingly, the reversal of your response to these planetary movements is across the board. So if you’re usually awkward during conversations or if you hate public speaking, Mercury retrograde can actually work in your favor. You’ll suddenly feel much more at ease, and the words will flow smoothly.

What happens when Mercury retrogrades? 

You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon. (Or, you hate your haircut, the lamp you bought shorts out, your sister hates her birthday gift.) There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements–but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don’t fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.

All machinery and things with moving parts–such as computers, VCRs, camera equipment, garbage disposals, and so forth, will reveal any weak links now. It is critical that you back up your data system and be more careful and vigilant than ever. Projects will demand more time and money than anticipated this month.

When are the Mercury retrogrades in 2008?

January 28-February 18
May 26-June 19
September 24-October 15 

So, back to my story.  The Mercury Retrograde started on Monday, January 28, and it’s going strong.  Monday, the first day of the Retrograde, my boss came into work with his laptop.  He could no longer sign onto it.  He also gave me his ID badge, which suddenly stopped giving him access to the building.  I initiated a help desk ticket, which brought the computer ops cops, conveniently located on our floor, over to pick up the machine and research its problem.  Later, we received an e-mail from one of the two ops cops saying the machine needed a reinstallation of the OS and the software.  The second of the ops cops asked my boss who’d been “messing” with the machine, and boss wrote back, “No one.”  I had been seconds away from hitting the send button to everyone discussing the Mercury Retrograde reason; however, due to the fact that I’d given that explanation to my boss upon hearing of his two mechanical breakdowns, and instead of a “Thank you, Helen,” got a roll of his eyes, I decided to keep my valuable knowledge to myself.  And the ID card?  Somehow, in the computer security system, the number assigned to his ID card changed and no longer matched his.  Just like that.  Thank you M.R. 

Tuesday night, I went outside to work with Baby on some obedience routines, and wouldn’t you know it?  I flipped the back yard light on and nothing happened.  The darn light burned out!  So we missed a valuable night of practice. I don’t remember much of the rest of Tuesday night being I started drinking the very delicious bottle of wine given to me by my friend from dog obedience club.  Perhaps I should mention here, and possibly in another post, that Baby (the 10-and-3/4-year-old Queen Mother of Fort Doberdale) and I (over 10 and 3/4 years old) are entered in an AKC obedience trial both Saturday and Sunday this weekend.  It’s the first serious competition – that means off-leash work – I’ve entered in over 15 years.  More on that, I hope, in another post.

Back to Mercury and his retrograde.  Wednesday, as I was wrestling with my printer to acknowledge the jam I’d cleared 15 times was indeed cleared and to stop giving me an error message, a co-worker came from down the hall with the news that his fax machine was holding onto his fax in memory and would not print it out.  Interestingly, after telling him about the Mercury retrograde and getting the same eye-ball rolling response, I told him the problem I was having with my printer.  He tried and was able to clear it after two attempts.  Hmmm.  We then went down to his fax machine where I was able to reciprocate the favor and coaxed his machine to print his faxes.

Later in the day, I made sure to run to Home Depot during a break with my burned out bulb to get two new ones.  I didn’t want to be short-handed next time this happened.  Instead of the 150 watt skinny bulb, I got the 250 watt skinny bulbs, so I could really see what was going on in that back yard during our practices.  I installed the light, and that was no easy feat.  It involved a teeny screw, a glass cover and a lot of cursing.  Mind you, Luigi and Raven figured it was time to play, so there was definitely an irritation factor with them right under my little off-balance step ladder shoving at it and making me and it waddle.  I’m not good with heights.

Once I got the gosh dern screw out, the cover came off, and I won.  That battle anyway.  I didn’t use my reading glasses either even though I couldn’t see anything but outlines and blobs.  Tehehehe.  Putting the new bulb in so the light would come on, though, was not as easy.  It took several attempts of up and down on the wobbler steps, moving the bulb around, turning the switch on and off when the light didn’t go on, so I wouldn’t get electrocuted when I went back out there to try again.  On/off, on/off, on/frigging off…then I got mad and didn’t give a flying fig, and left the darned switch on.  I didn’t even step up on that rickety step ladder, and didn’t care I had my foot on Raven’s fish-shaped stuffed toy, I had my hand on that skinny light and was flipping it around – sight unseen – till the darn thing lit.  Yeehaw!  Though it seemed a little less bright than I’d imagined, I had light, and after we had dinner and I made the call to Anne Marie Sawicki, we would practice again, Baby and I.  All was well.

Ann Marie Sawicki, the animal communicator, by the way, is a monthly guest on the Cat Chat show on Sirius radio, the Martha Stewart channel.  I have never called her, but have a reason to do so now.  I was confused this morning as I was fixing dog breakfasts, though, when Tracie Hotchner announced on a segment she did on the Morning Show that Ann Marie would be on tonight, as she is usually on the first Wednesday of every month.  I was pretty sure it was Wednesday and still January, but neither of the hosts on the Morning Show said it wasn’t, and I didn’t have time to argue.  I figured I would call tonight, and get my answer, and who cares if it’s January or February.

It is January.  After timing the dogs’ dinners – slow cooked chicken, potatoes and carrots in water seasoned with garlic, ginger, and turmeric, over rice – getting it prepared and served with minutes to spare, I was so damned proud of myself.  Dogs were out doing their duty and I had my cell phone ready to go.  At 7:50, I walked outside into a star-lit back yard.  The little movement indicator must have not recognized movement, so the light stayed out.  I went inside and did what I always do in these cases, flip the switch off and on.  But instead of light, there was nothing.  NOTHING!  That #$%*& light was not doing its thing.  That $7 light.  SEVEN DOLLARS!  Mon Dieu.  I was so irked, I got up on the darn wobbly step in the blasted dark, with my screw driver, no glasses and was not getting off that thing without that bulb to see what transpired there.

The angels were with me because that screw came out and so did the glass cover.  And that bulb?  It is toast.  It’s a puffy, black and blue, burned up bulb.  Why!?  I do not know, but it and its brother are going back to Home Depot tomorrow, and I’m going to ask for a refund and a reason.  And a 150 watt bulb.  Yes, I am.  Then I’m going to stop at Frank and Sense and buy 36 candles to place and light around the yard so the QM and I can practice tomorrow night.  I am thinking something’s gotta give besides my patience.

And by the way, my computer, the broken one, is being repaired…now.  Of all times…now!  Maybe, just maybe, it will slip by Mercury’s oversight?  And maybe Raven will keep her yap shut the next time I ask her to.  Uh huh.

Helen

Bitches Rule, Dogs Drool

Raven’s slowly growing up in the brains department and testing her rank in the Fort Doberdale hierarchy. 

She’s still a puppy-head, but an older model puppy-head, and has little self-control over some of her impulses.  OK, many of her impulses.  For example, when I give treats to others among our group, she doesn’t think twice to either grab my hand (hard, I might say) as it and the treat move toward the non-Raven snout, or to grab any morsel that is hanging out or dropping from the non-Raven snout.  How rude!

When I dole out treats, anyone who sits, gets one.  And most of them will stay seated to see if there is a second treat go-round.  Raven doesn’t get that part.  She is one-of-a-kind and wants it all.  So she sits, grabs, then grabs grabs grabs because she thinks that will get her more treats faster. It doesn’t.  I have my second hand ready when I am moving the first one with treat towards another dog’s beak.  That way, I can divert Raven’s beak before she clamps down on my hand.  She will sit when I ask, but only for a second or two.  We are working on the “Raven, stay” part, and that should resolve some of this, along with maturation.  I have not received the “mature brains installation disc” yet for Raven.  When that disc comes, probably in 12 to 18 months, the neighbors won’t hear “RaaaVeeeN!” echo over the sounds of freeway traffic and construction drills.

With that said, I was amazed at first, then not at second, when yesterday, Baby, the Queen Mother Herself, took her Abuelita Tortilla strip out into the yard away from the crowd to eat.  Raven ran right behind her.  The QM dropped her chip and gave the usual Queen Motherly warning bark, which every dog in Fort Doberdale understands and respects.  Except Raven.  Raven grabbed the chip, chomped, swallowed and ran.  Baby and I looked at each other.  Action was necessary.  No one disobeys the QM’s warning bark without repercussions.  I barred Raven from the QM’s territory, gave her Queenliness one chip for the lost one and one chip for pain and suffering, and we all listened to Raven thowing a fit while Baby crunched her chips.  

Baby was recompensed by the fact that the majority of the FDSP watched her eat.  That is one of Baby’s favorite ruling skills.  She waits till everyone else is available before she eats something special, so they can watch her enjoy what they don’t have.  She is always the last one to finish dinner, and has an audience of droolers by then.  In between dainty bites, she warns them to stay away from the dish with her best, ferocious warning barks.  She loves it.

Raven’s other current process is the toy guarding game, which I had witnessed for the first time last night.  She usually guards her toys by keeping them in her mouth and generally swinging or shoving them at me.  Last night, I sat on the sofa, Baby curled up next to me, and Luigi brought a toy.  Somewhere in the games we were playing, Raven got that toy, and jumped on the sofa with it.  Oddly enough, she placed it right by Baby’s tail, which didn’t exactly please the QM, but she could live with it.  When Luigi approached, she growled a warning and snapped the air.  This went on for a while, and had I had my camera, there would be pictures to share as it was the first time Raven initiated the game.

This behavior is common between Dobergirls and Doberboys.  Generally, Dobergirls are hardwired to dish it out and Doberboys are hardwired to endure and react at the speed of lightning to Dobergirls’ snaps.  Frankly, it’s downright comical when the game is played the way it’s supposed to be and everyone’s following the rules of nature. 

Ginger and Luigi are experts as a team, and often play a prolonged and more sophisticated version of the game in the backyard.  When Ginger gets Luigi’s ball, he follows her as she takes it from one place to the next, drops it nearby, sniffs the ground, looks up and lifts her lip at Luigi, sniffs the ground, and all the while, Luigi is taking one step forward, one step back, trying to figure out when it will be safe to grab that ball and walk away with it.  Eventually, Ginger relinquishes control by finding a spot to sniff that is so darn interesting that she forgets about that ball.  But it is her choice when that happens.  She’s in charge. 

There is a saying in Dogdom that is very true.  Bitches rule, dogs drool. Raven is on her way to being true to her calling. 

Helen

Starting week #5 of 2008

We had a bit of a foggy morning last week. I am usually groggy and blurry eyed when I wake up, but this scene really threw me!

We grew a sunflower. I think it was a gift from the birds. I do.

Foggy weather and sunflowers don’t stop Leissl from getting the job done, though. She’s one of Fort Doberdale’s, if not the world’s, best destuffers.

Today was ear cleaning day at Fort Doberdale. Everyone got an ear wash of 2/3 water, 1/3 vinegar, and plenty of wash cloths to wipe out the Doberdirt. Of course, the most important part of the whole ritual are the dog treats.

In this case, animal crackers. Yum!

Luigi’s favorite! (OK, anything food is Luigi’s favorite.)

Of course, after a good ear cleaning and cookies, what could be better than some coffee grounds? I put some old grounds that are flavored and sweet smelling on top of the Verawood roots for fertilizer. Nothing sweet smelling gets past the schnauzola on Luigi and his little sidekick, Raven.

The Buddha Dog gave me the wisdom to soak down the grounds, which stopped all interest in them immediately. That Buddha Dog is a wise ol’ sage.

When the sun went down, Lilian stopped in her tracks as part of the Fort Doberdale Squirrel Posse, and took note of an alien among us. (Even more important is maintaining possession of the coveted blue Cuz ball.)

What we find are the answers to a couple of questions. Who is gnawing holes in the neighbor’s papayas? Where have all the rats gone?

Eeegads!

Regis isn’t feeling too well tonight. He must have gotten too rowdy today as his well-worn bones and paws were tired of holding him up by day’s end. He got his dinner served to him on his princely cushion and he was quite appreciative of that. He dined well, and decided to call it an early night and has been napping since.

Baby, the DoberDiva, has something on her mind. We will have to wait to find out what that is.

Have a great week!

Helen

RESCUE – Regarding 2 Dobies needing help

Here is another e-mail that was in my in-box this morning from a very concerned animal lover who went above and beyond what most people would do for a pair of strays dumped by their owners. So far, no one in rescue has any room to put two more sweet abandonned Dobies, and the time runs short for them.

———-

I am a pet trainer at PetSmart. This evening, 2 dobermans (a male and a female) were dropped off in our parking lot. Fortunately, they wandered into our store. We offered them food and water (they had very healthy appetites) and then scanned them for microchips. One of them had a chip and we called the number associated with it. This led us to a pet services group who then contacted the name associated with it and left a message (they wouldn’t give us any info). Now, I’m assuming that if these dogs are no longer wanted, the person won’t be giving us a call anytime soon. Unfortunately, as we don’t have the facilities to keep them, we had to contact animal services.

The reason I am contacting you is because I thought you would probably be their best hope. These are fantastically sweet dogs. They pull when they walk, and both have kidney bean shaped rough patches on their backs (one was worse than the other) indicating to me that perhaps they were tethered to something for a long time, but other than that, they didn’t seem to have any major problems.

The woman from animals services told me that the owners have 72 hours to contact them and after that, it’s either a rescue group that gets them or the worst will happen. As an animal lover, I want to make sure they get a shot at life. I don’t know how much work animal services puts into finding rescue groups so I thought I would do some research and try to contact a few myself.

Thank you for your time, and I would appreciate an update if you are able to do anything for these wonderful animals.

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Week 4 Round-Up

Looks like we are already wrapping up week four of year two thousand and eight.

My computer is ill, and though I’ve been working off the clock to fix it, it ain’t happening. So I’ll be going to plan B next week. That’s why my posts haven’t been regular, and won’t be until I get this contraption and the havoc it’s left behind repaired.

Speaking of havoc, I had to spend two days in court last week as a potential juror. The trial for which I got picked as the potential juror was a heavy duty civil suit. The attorneys have it listed on their website, so I suppose it is all right to post the link to it here. Isham vs. City of Fort Lauderdale. I was excused due to cause.

This morning Raven was playing fast and furious after having ate her Wheaties an hour earlier. She came up behind Lilian, grabbed the yellow Tuffies ring which was in her mouth, and Lilian didn’t let go. Instead, Raven swung around like a tether ball, having the great fortune of slamming into my shin, which stopped the sonic boom that was about to occur due to the velocity at which she was traveling and prevented her from flying to the moon. My leg, however, has a bruise the size of Raven’s sharp elbow and has grown a silver dollar sized lump to make the blues and blacks of my new temporary tattoo stand out that much more. She’s still true to form.

Earlier in the week, there was some activity in one of my prized potted plants. Bouchard and Annie spotted a snail. The hunt was on. Nothing was caught, thank goodness. I hate having to make escargot.

Later on, The Queen Mother, Baby Diva, saw something through her Detective Diva gate spying slot. Whatever it was came and went so fast that none of us saw it, but the Diva, and she’s not talking.

Instead, she joined Annie and Bouchard in their snail hunt.